Why Should I Invest My Time In The Family Instead Of Doing What I Like?

As long as we 'feel' we are sacrificing our likes or our passion for our family needs, we will stay unhappy. So I say, merge the two! Why not develop passion in doing our duties towards the family? This combines the needs of the family and that of the individual leading to better outcomes for both.

It is indeed wonderful to express one's natural passion। This is what modern life is all about. One finds passion for studies, sports, music, career and various activities. Individuals express this passion and achieve great heights and that is how the world is progressing. But we also need to pause and look at one fact. Very often, this passion consumes all of our time as we pursue individual success and happiness. This passionate pursuit of personal success often breaks apart the family. Family structures and traditions, that have sustained themselves for ages, are now becoming victims of this individual pursuit of success. We must not lose sight of the fact that there are people in our society who are not as competent or capable as others. Moreover, even the able people, at some stage of their lives will pass through periods of inability, or disability. At such times, one is not capable of expressing one's passion and needs to be taken care of. The able therefore, have a duty towards the unable, or disabled.

Such feeling of duty can be developed only by binding individuals in some kind of family or social system। Otherwise, we will end up dividing society into the able and the disable. We will also lose the insurance for disability for self in times of distress, which will visit almost every one of us. Let us not forget that a significant part of our lives will be affected by incompetence and disability, whether it may be due to old age, sickness or injury, loneliness, marital discord, or other disturbances.

The family and social system were designed to integrate the able and not so able in a loving and affectionate environment। The redirection of passion towards family and duty, thus, is buying ourselves social insurance for difficult times. The basic conflict of passion for activity and passion for duty can be resolved more easily when viewed through this lens. It is natural that the passion for one's individual excellence is a more powerful driver. But if passion for duty can evolve, then one's individual activity becomes secondary. The younger generation views this as a demand of sacrifice of their legitimate pursuit of excellence in their careers, and is not easily willing to subscribe to the idea that dividing their passion between their individual choice of activity and their filial duty towards their parents and families is easily achievable or even worth the attempt. There is an apprehension that this way, they might end up losing on both fronts.

We have to clearly answer and set at rest these apprehensions। After all, in today's highly competitive world, no one wants to lose out. But the young must realize that investing time in directing their passion towards duty is just like investing money in an insurance that will safeguard them when they need it most, i.e. during the later stages in life. We are aware that we will be unable to make money in old age and therefore set aside a portion of our earnings in stocks, savings and insurance. But, we need both money as well as emotional relationships at that stage. Emotions, unlike monetary insurance policies, are not available for sale. This has to be developed as an asset as a family member and a socially responsible individual. If all our time is consumed by our passionate pursuits or ambition, there will be no time for investing in the social relationships needed later.

Today's youth is intelligent enough to invest in the future. It is just that they need to be made aware of the importance of investing in social relationships, apart from material investments. A reorientation of one's passion towards family duty and respect for the elder generation has to be developed from a very early age. Failure to do so will certainly invite loneliness at one's old age, which further brings sickness and stress. Although it appears to be an investment on the utility front, at a deeper level, this emotional investment is actually the continuity of social systems, of purity of relationships, of life and creation. Of course, the question of duty towards our parents in their old age is paramount, but even from a purely personal perspective, the investing of one's emotions in duty towards them is a wise policy. We are investing in the preservation of the systems and traditions that have contributed to bring us to this level. A family and its traditions are like an emotional banking system that needs to be maintained in a healthy shape, so that future generations may continue to draw their sustenance from them. The highly evolved Vedic civilisation of India has developed these concepts and traditions to the most ennobling level.