What Is The Secret To A Successful Family?

Once, an old man visited his old friend after a long span of time. He was greeted at the door by his friend's son, who led him inside to the living room. When the family members came to know that an old friend of the head of the family had come to visit, all of them came to greet him and touched his feet. He was served refreshments with great love and care. Seeing all this, tears welled up in his eyes. When his friend asked the reason for these tears, he told him that both his sons with their families lived far away from him. He was overwhelmed by the love and affection seen in the family of his friend and then asked him what the secret of his family's togetherness was.

Every person would like to have such a family. But how can this be achieved? First we have to understand the meaning of family. Our sages and scriptures conceptualized this institution of a family. Man is a social being and humanity thrives based on the feelings of togetherness, of serving each other, of loving one another and of taking care of each other's needs. If mutual understanding and a feeling of duty exist amongst its members, one can be rest assured that not only will the family be successful, but the virtues will help build a stronger society and nation which are after all made up of families. In other words, a family is the classroom where the members learn lessons of how to become responsible citizens of the society.

In the Indian culture, when two people marry, they take vows to serve each other, support each other and fulfill their responsibilities. A couple's responsibility is not just to produce children. Rather, it is to ensure that three generations stay together. Our rishis had a mind-blowing foresight as the benefits of three generations under one roof are immense! The grandparents, with their years of experience and wisdom, ensure that values and principles are passed on to their children and grandchildren. The children assume the responsibility of taking care of the weak and old parents. The grandchildren in turn, are expected to be respectful to their elders and learn from their wisdom and experience. Thus, while the younger generations take care of the older generations, the old act as guides and encourage the young to lead a life of duties. Any family in which all members perform their duties will succeed in all spheres domestic, academic and economic.

Even as we do our duties, it is important that we never lose our affection for one another in the family, which is why family picnics, family functions, and celebration of festivals with the entire family are very important.

While this was how families lived traditionally, today the institution of the family faces many challenges. This is primarily because of the onslaught of Western thought and Western way of living. In the West, individual freedom is the way of life. Even though this has resulted in great individual achievements, it is at a very high cost.

In pursuit of personal happiness and freedom, family responsibilities have been neglected. The old aged have been thrown in nursing homes and the young left to babysitters and day care centers. When children will be devoid of proper guidance and the old of due care, then of course families will break apart.

Sadly, the same trend is rapidly picking up in India. Although individual freedom and achievements do bring us temporary and dazzling awards, we tend to forget the biggest truth: our children observe everything we do. Today we are neglecting OUR parents. Won't they also neglect us when we grow old? We do not listen to our parents. Won't our children do the same in the future when we try to advise them? If our parents feel lonely because we have left them alone, won't we face the same predicament tomorrow?

We very well know that since our parents have raised us from early childhood and taken care of our needs, there is no one who is a better well-wisher for us then them. Wouldn't we be better off living with them, taking their advice and learning from their experiences?

We keep complaining that society is progressively deteriorating. It is not the society; it is those families that make up society which are deteriorating. Once the family system breaks apart then there will be a 'domino effect' on the society and nation. So next time, don't complain about our society or nation. Strengthen your family by fulfilling your responsibilities and the nation will follow. The most effective and practical way to achieve this is to bring and keep three generations under one roof and let each play its respective role properly.