India's Holy Scripture and Epic, the Ramcharitmanas contains a very thought provoking verse :
"Maat Pita Guru Prabhu Ki Baani,
Binahi Vichaar Kiye Subh Jaani"
मातु पिता गुरु प्रभु की बानी।
बिनहिं विचार किये सुभ जानी॥
In other words, one should act according to the advice of one's parents, guru and God without a second thought. Therein lies one's welfare.
Our scriptures present to us the words of God and there is no doubt that we can attain success in life by following them। However, it is not practical to try and look for solutions to our day-to-day problems in the scriptures। Neither is it possible for the average individual to establish a direct dialogue with God। That is a quest that may take an entire lifetime, perhaps many। If we wish to turn to Guru, then also such a personality is not easy to find, especially in today's age. Even if one does succeed in finding a Sadguru, it is impractical to expect him to be available to solve our problems all the time. Hence, as suggested by Goswami Tulsidas, of all the people whose advice, when accepted, can help one solve all problems of life and attain joy and welfare, our parents are most easily available and accessible to us.
Therefore, whenever one is unable to decide what course of action to follow in a challenging situation, instead of seeking the advice of an outsider, one could ask one's parents for their suggestions।The reason is simple। Our parents have raised us and have taken care of our needs to the best of their capabilities. We must have faith that there can be no one else in this world who can be our better well-wisher than our parents. Even after making an important decision in life, there is no harm in seeking the opinion of one's parents before implementing it. The young often think that since their parents are from an older generation, they are unable to understand the challenges that the current generation has to face. What the youth fail to recollect is that it is these parents who have taken care of all their needs and made all decisions for them from childhood to youth. No one would know more about their nature, interests and ambitions than their own parents.
It is possible that youngsters, under the influence of passion and excitement or upon misguiding by friend(s), make a wrong decision। But Parents will never make any wrong decision or offer any wrong advice to their children to harm them। May be your parents might not have any knowledge or experience regarding your business or profession, but if any problem related to you arises in your business or profession, then you can obtain better advice from your parents than any consultant can offer you। This is because the advice parents offer you would be based on the higher values of life and the experience of their lives. Relying on parent's judgement could prove valuable. Younger people occasionally tend to ignore the higher values of life, especially when it comes to the question of personal gains. On the other hand, parents offer a more rational and balanced judgement.
It is common complaint nowadays that children do not listen to parents। The important question is: Do you yourself listen to your father? Do you seek your father's opinion in family and other matters of life? Psychologists also support the fact that children follow actions rather than words of thier parents, elders and teachers. The adage that actions speak louder than words is very true. The following story aptly underscores this truth:
An old man in a family suffered from ill health. He was very weak and would spill his water or drop the plate. His daughter-in-law did not like all this mess and disturbance. So he brought an old wooden bowl for him to serve the food in. One day the old man's grandson was playing with some wooden toys. When his mother asked him, what he was making, he innocently replied "I am making a wooden plate for you and papa to eat in when you become old!"
So, if you expect respect and love from your children, teach them through your actions rather than your words। Let them see and realise that you highly respect your parents। The father can form the vital link between the grandfather and grandson। It is the father who fosters the feeling of respect for or indifference towards the grandparents. That is why if the father wishes to gain respect from his children, then he must not only have to respect his father, but also make his children understand "My father is better than me!"
There is a very easy and practical way to achieve this। If your child wants to know something orwants to understand what he should do in particular situation, rather than providing an answer yourself, encourage the child to go and ask his grandfather, telling him that grandpa can provide the best answer. Later, the father should ask the child what his grandfather told him. If the child feels he did not get a satisfactory answer, then the father should explain the grandfather's view to his son and make him realise how it is the best answer.
In other words, the home in which the motto "My father is better than me" is accorded primacy never faces discord and differences। Such a family then remains free from the present day problems like generation gap, communication gap, disintegration of families and tension in relationships, and can still enjoy the comforts of modern living.
